That Aggravating Cell Phone

24
By Regena Handy

I’m well aware that I’ve said it before, but it just bears repeating. I am not meant for this modern world we live in. I also know that every time I talk about such things, it just makes me sound like a fuddy-duddy or an old grandma.

Well, I am a grandma and some days a mighty dull-witted one. All of which is exemplified in my latest bungled attempt to live with technology.

You see, I have a new cell phone. For a long time I was perfectly satisfied with the little phone I had. It fit perfectly in the front pocket of my jeans and though it didn’t do much fancy stuff, it suited my purposes.

But time and technology keeps striding right along. So this new do-dad that I have now does all kinds of things; the phone screen is covered with an assortment of choices. I know how to make and receive calls on it. I can use the camera. And the calculator. But that’s about it. If I accidentally hit a wrong icon on the phone screen, I have no idea how to clear it.

Here’s an unfortunate example. I am a bad sleeper, awake lots of odd hours. Long after midnight recently I was plugging up the phone to charge when I realized our son had earlier attempted to contact us to Facetime. So brilliant that I can be at times, I touch the screen with the intent of clearing away the call.

Guess what I hear — the sound of our son’s phone ringing. Oh, the muttering I did as I stabbed at the screen trying to delete the call. But it just kept ringing. Momentarily a very, sleepy face is looking back at me and a froggy voice says, “Mom, did you aim to call me?” I got out about a dozen apologies before he could assure me that it was okay.

Here’s the real deal breaker. Like I said, it’s a brand new phone and, yeah, its costing me an arm and a leg, as the saying goes. Now wouldn’t you think a new and complicated and expensive purchase would come with a big ‘how to operate’ manual.  Nope, not one piece of paper.

Now, think about it — you can’t even buy the simplest coffee pot  with a basic “on” and “off” button without the inclusion of a thick book of instructions (printed in several languages). But I guess since every child in America can operate a cell phone and computer, etc., the rest of us are just expected to KNOW. I envision the day when the cell phone will attach to the human DNA and babies will be born with one imbedded in their hand.

I jest, of course. Or perhaps not. Did you ever really imagine such as thing as a cell phone?  Though I did think we would all have a little flying car like on The Jetson’s cartoon.

I’m done with my rant now. Time to go do something I wish I could find a technological answer for — pulling the weeds in my flower garden.